jml's notebook

Ramblings while unwell

I'm off sick for the second day this week, after also being unwell on Sunday.

I feel a weird, borderline sense of maybe I'm well enough to go about with normal activities, but then when I try everything is a massive struggle. It's hard to say whether this is a physical problem, a mental problem, or a failure of character. There are definite physical symptoms, but Jolie's basically got the same things and she's soldiering on.

I had the same kind of illness in March and early April. I'm worried it's a persistent thing.

Currently sitting in a cafe with a reasonable view of the sunshine, as it seems a healthier thing than moping at home.

I'm also a bit short on entertainment. My normal way of entertaining myself when I have free time during the day is to write code, do a crossword, or, if I'm really low on energy, play video games. I am really low on energy, but the video game I've got to hand is Dishonored 2. It wouldn't be so bad, except I'm on a level that requires a ridiculous amount of problem solving and that's way too much like work.

I could maybe do some coding where nothing hangs in the balance, where the consequences don't matter, but I've got so much on my plate that that feels like a stupid idea.

I tried going to the gym, but I ended up sitting on a chair in my gym clothes staring at the door for what turned out to be an hour.

Sleep eluded me yesterday, even though I spent many hours lying in bed. I'm a little bit wary of repeating the experience.

I guess I'm whinging. Maybe writing this down will help me next time it happens.

I'm going to go home and try to read by the river.